So I finally have interenet at home again. After I moved last May I couldn't decide what I wanted to do for internet service. I knew I didn't want a land-line telephone because that's pretty much useless to me. So now I have Comcast digital cable and internet. So far so good.
Let me just say I am impressed. The porn sites pop up faster than a blink of an eye. And video streaming occcurs in seconds. Now if I can only get a hold of that damn Hilton video!
Have a nice day.

AGENT BLACKDOT 7
(or The gullibility of women and their desire for men with money)

Sugar. 108 W. Kinzie. A dessert bar filled with high class, well-to-do Chicago singles.
Why would I go there. I have no idea. I’m not well-to-do. I’m not rich. And my class is one inch lower than a bottomless pit...let’s face it, I’m mexican.
American Express corporate cards.
I work for Ambrosi and Associates. An ad agency in downtown Chicago. I’m nothing special. Just a writer. But since I travel so much, I get a corporate card. Now in the corporate world, companies own other companies all the time. And that company can easily be owned by another company. It’s a world of mergers and scandal and tax write-offs.
I work for Ambrosi. Who’s sister company is ABD. Which is owned by AGT Blackdot Seven. Which is actually three separate companies. Why they call themselves one company, I do not know. But for the purpose of this mischievous tale, it is important to know all three.
AGT Blackdot Seven. Three words scrolled across the bottom of a corporate card delivered to me by American Express for use on business trips. This corporate card was the card I used to start a tab at Sugar. Sugar is the bar that unless you have lots of money or a kickass job you might as well be bussing tables. Everyone with me...good.
As I pondered the stupidity of paying $20 to walk through a frosted glass door to enter an establishment that sells the same liquor that any other bar sells, I made the conscious decision to start a tab. With only $40 left in my pocket, I had a feeling it wouldn’t last long. So Steve and I walked to the bar, ordered our drinks and I handed the sexiest bartender with the sweetest TaTa’s I’ve ever seen my corporate card. Ahh, so that’s where my $20 went...TaTa’s. I can accept that.
So now we grab our drinks, stroll around the bar ,run into some old friends, finish our drinks, and approach the bar for a second round.
Gin ‘n Tonic and Vanilla Stoli ‘n sprite please. And that’s where the adventure begins.
My gorgeous server with the two delicious scoops of vanilla ice cream asks who I work for. I wonder to myself and ask why. She responds, I was wondering who you were an agent for, it says AGT Blackdot Seven on the bottom of your card.
PAYDIRT!
Now at this point I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation so I calmly stated “I really can’t say” and she responds, “Well I’ll be talking to you later.”
The plot thickens. I graciously smile, grab the drinks and walk away. I immediately tell Steve the situation and we collaborate to create an enticing tale of grand proportions.
I am now “Agent Blackdot 7”.
A research agent for the FBI who travels from various cities collecting data for unsolved cases. Steve is my assigned local Chicago Detective assisting me with anything I may need help with. What are we doing here...Hammond Indiana. If anyone watches the news, you would know that the remains of three missing teenage boys were found buried in the basement of some guys house who lives in Hammond Indiana. Steve and I just happened to go to Sugar for a break from our three days of researching and detecting the Hammond case.
Now that we have this beautiful story plotted out, we go for a third drink. She continues to ask questions and I tell her the story. She LOVES it. Never in my life have I had a girl so gorgeous, so sexy, completely and entirely turned-on by what I do. But what do I do...nothing. I’m a writer. In an ad agency. I write lies everyday to consumers. I get people to buy shit they don’t know they want. What’s 20% off mean? It means your paying 80% for something you don’t fucking need.
But I did it. I finally did it. I used the monotony of my everyday worklife for something good in life. I made a completely gorgeous girl absolutely enticed by who I was. Even if it was only for a moment. Even though nothing transpired from this, I swooned a sexy women that was WAY out of my league. And what do I have to thank for this, the gullibility of women and their desire for men with money.
From here on out, I am Agent Blackdot 7!

Wow, we're a little over two weeks till Christmas. Time goes by way to fast these days.
That's fine, less time for me to think about regrets.
Pretty soon I'll be 40, divorced, and impotent. At least then I'll have an excuse for not getting laid!
And the wife that I don't have yet will divorce me for the mail room clerk in her office. Which, of course, is a woman. And then I'll have to be the old guy in the club. I'll be going to places like B.G. Fellows and taking it seriously, unlike this past weekend (thanks Joe and Arcudi).
That's when all the regrets in life really start messing with you. All the "should of's" and "what ifs" will probably drive me to insanity. Considering at 27 I feel like I have enough "should of's" and "what ifs" to last a lifeti me.
It's a shame though. I spend more time sulking in my youthful regrets than enjoying my late twenties. But then again, I guess I'm securing my late twenties regrets for when I hit my early thirties. At least then I know now I will definately have something to feel like shit about.
See, I feel better already.

My throat is killing me. Unfortunately, my unwillingness to see a doctor causes my agaony to last longer than it should. Why am I so stubborn?
Lots of things have happened since I last blogged. We had a show on "Black Wednesday" which was pretty cool. Since we have a female singer, we got to participate in a "Chics Rock" band night. Plus, Jill from The Brooke and Jill Morning Show (94.7) was there to promote the event. The funny thing is I went to high school with her as well as college. Well, I really didn't talk to her much in college because we were in different departments, but I saw her every once and a while. Anyway, it was cool to chat with her and catch up.
Thursday we went to Fat Sam's to chill out and relax. Kind of an after-Thanksgiving treat. On Friday a group of us went up to Boogie Nights to celebrate Brandy's b-day which was also fun, but that was when I was getting pretty sick and I probably shouldn't have been drinking. Then Saturday I got really sick but did not want to miss Bill and Danielles engagement party. So of course I went out again, and drank some more, and ignored my bodies request for rest and relaxation.
Finally on Sunday I rested. I went over to my parents house and put up Christmas lights then went home and watched Scarface, plus all the bonus features from the 20th Anniversary version that just came out.
On Monday I was even more sick, but I had to fly out to New York for work. So I basically suffered during the entire flight and felt like shit in the hotel room. The good thing is that I got to watch my two new favorite TV shows on Discovery Channel, American Choppers and Monster House. I don't have cable so I have to rely on all my stays in hotels to indulge on such simple pleasures.
Yesterday I flew back from New York and stopped by Steves house to chit chat and relax. And today I am here at work. I feel a lot better than I did on monday, but I still have a sore throat. Hopefully I will be fully recovered by Friday because we have our company Christmas party and I don't want to miss it.
Anyway, that's it for me. Now that we are all caught up I can go on with my day and I promise that my next entry will be a little more interesting than a weekly update.
Have a nice day.